My little fella. February 18th, 2010 to June 22nd, 2011. RIP.
I've been a bit absent from my blog for a while. Partly because I've been somewhat lazy; partly due to the fact that I'm just plain numb.
On June 22nd we took Gibson in to the vet's office. He was ready. He couldn't breathe without resting his head on a chair or our bed. It was time. He had shown marked signs of slowing down and definite symptoms of congestive heart failure. We thought we had prepared ourselves from his first check up, now at the ripe old age of sixteen months his life was at it's conclusion.
It was sad. It was hard. It just seemed so unfair, to lose such a great dog who through no fault of his own had a defective aortic valve. The staff at the clinic was so understanding. They knew it was coming, and it was so obvious that it was necessary. It didn't take but a few seconds, and we held him.
I think he was actually relived in that brief threshold between here and there.
I'm still not sure where to shelve this grief. I knew all along that it was coming, but I kept shoving that aside. Now his death is reality, and I'm having a hard time letting out this sadness that I've kept at bay. Do I deserve the luxury of tears? This finality was always on the table, yet I kept hoping...
I know many people would say that he was just a dog. He was a part of my family, and I wanted him to be around forever. I'm not even over losing Joey, and now this?
I hope you're swimming and chasing birds and fetching big sticks, and chewing on shoes, and stealing remotes. Most of all, I hope that you finally can run and play, a lot!