Sunday, April 12, 2009

Solitude



One of the things I've always been most fearful of is being alone. I never thought that would be an issue in an urban situation. I live in Alaska, yet I also live in a neighborhood that is situated along a very busy road. The fact that we are also located at the intersection of this busy road and one of two entrances to an "exclusive" community complete with a neighborhood association is a subject that causes much thought for me.

There are RULES! Great!

You can't park you vehicle on the side of the street; your motorcycle in the drive-way unless it's summer,(what's that in Alaska; about two months?!)or your RV/travel trailer. If your fence blows down due to 80+ mile an hour winds; they expect you to at least remove the frozen to-the-ground-debris and stack inside your remaining fence-line so as not to offend the other home-owners. If you don't, the neighborhood hooligans will toss them unceremoniously into aforementioned busy road for shits-n-giggles. Having no fence on the corner of this corner lot means less privacy and more traffic noise from the much traveled road and a considerable increase in traffic noise. Have I mentioned that everyone who uses this road seems to have a four wheel drive TRUCK with a HEMI, that sounds like a semi with a souped-up exhaust system, a boom-bass stereo, and an amplified jake-brake system? Kinda brings a whole new light to that "Life is a Hi-way" thang! Yet; you can very well host a moose in your side-yard, and there have been bears sighted in the walking path just below our house. Those things are cool, and what one might expect in this neck of the woods.

Neat! Fun!

Did I mention that I spend a lot of time alone? Right! All of this traffic noise bugs the crap out of me! Not what I would have thought Alaska would hold for an Outside Greenhorn like me! (Outside=Not in/from Alaska)

Living in an urban environment such as Anchorage/Eagle River, I never would have imagined the difficulty in forming friendships. Not so. I know virtually no-one on my street. Great! I still get the "Where are you frum" query when going about my everyday activities. I've lived here over a year; after residing in Valdez, Alaska for two years. I actually loved living in Valdez; Anchorage-not so much. I may as well live off Copper and Wyoming in Albuquerque!

In all of my life, I've never felt so isolated. My kids are far away; my friends are far away; K. works shift work: I think my pets are growing tired of my constant prater.

Can't say that I blame them: so am I.

Come on Spring!

10 comments:

SaoirseDaily2 said...

Sounds like cabin fever. I live on a busy street and the street noise can become tiresome. We have made our basement bedroom our bedroom. My bead studio and laptop station is down there also. Plus the family room and laundry room. It is where I can escape the noise.

I probably wouldn't have any friends if it wasn't for going to work everyday. Michael works swing shift, so, I kind of know what you are talking about.

Don't worry, spring for you is around the corner.

Doug and Amanda said...

Mama, I love you. If it makes you feel better, I don't have any friends either. But think about how you met all of your past friends...at work. Just find some random job and give it a whirl! You'll probably make someone else's day!

Jess said...

More like come on moving time...lol

Hope you get better and that spring and summer come soon but stay long for you.

Love, Jess

kkryno said...

You're right, Amanda. I need to drag out and dust my many-faceted resume, get it up-dated and dive in again. The trouble with not working for a while is it makes you feel a bit lacking in the qualification department.

I really should have gotten a degree. Trouble is I can't decide what I want to be when I grow up!

;)

Diane@Diane's Place said...

I realize it's not the same as seeing people face to face, but at least you have your online friends.

And Amanda's right: if you could find a part time job dealing with the public I'm sure you'd have some new friends in no time at all!

Now myself, I like spending time alone, but I also love being with my friends and family. I just takes life as it comes, LOL! ;o)

Hugs,

Diane

Steve said...

i've been thinking a lot lately how sometimes I feel alone even when i'm in a crowded place or around my friends.
solitude takes different forms sometimes
i'd recommend taking up golf when it warms up!

Q said...

Dear Vikki,
I also spend lots of my time alone with the birds. I live on the corner of a "through" street. It is only two lanes so I do not get too many "big" trucks but the traffic sound does get to me sometimes.
I also was in search of "face to face" friends. When I found the Weavers and Spinners Guild I found friends. Now I am learning to knit. Sitting with my new lady friends and knitting is a dream come true. I sometimes just close my eyes and listen to them chatter...I miss the sound of voices. My kids live far-far away too. I understand the desire for daytime friends!
I am also thinking of taking some cooking classes next Autumn. Something to get me out of the house and involved with people. I just might have to start a cooking blog!
Sherry

♥ Braja said...

Dear friend :)....finally we meet :) I just started to read through all the prayers and good wishes sent to us after the accident, and your good name was amongst them. I am touched, and from the bottom of my heart I thank you for your kindness and healing help....
with great affection,
Braja xxa

Lisa said...

I never realized what a loner I was until MathMan pointed it out. I think that's why online friends suit me so well. I can access them when I want to. Sounds really selfish, doesn't it?

Bitty said...

(I am finally free of my months of working seven days a week and am trying to check in again with bloggy friends.)

First, hugs: (((Vikki)))

I am fortunate enough to have the kind of job (teaching English) that places me in the company of very like-minded people. The best group of friends I've ever had in my life is this group.

If a job is not possible (findable), you might consider volunteer work. If it's something you really believe in, you're likely to find like-minded people who won't care so much about where you're "frum."

Good luck with it, anyway.